Can we see the bigger picture?
By Charles Tan
The recent saga involving MANAZINE and Singapore’s media regulatory body, Media Development Authority (MDA) whereby the former is “told” to tone down its “homosexual” content resulted in the country’s only gay advocacy group, People Like Us (PLU) to release a public statement, denouncing the action as “deplorable” and “unnecessary”.
Not to rehash what PLU has said, MDA’s action is possibly a publicity attempt to win over the moral high ground and to reinforce the reputation of the squeaky clean pro straight family anti gay Singapore. After all, Straits Times follows up a few days later with pro straight family agenda splashing features and cover spreads on the hotly debated topic in Parliament – how do we make more babies.
The action of the regulatory board is also a knee jerk response towards recent events.
One of them involves PLU’s recent statement of plea to decriminalize consensual oral sex between members of the same sex. The other hotly debated topic is the legalizing of gay marriages in US.
By making Manazine its target of censorship within public’s sight, MDA effectively demonstrates its competence and power in monitoring and controlling the contents of local media; sending a clear signal to media houses that they should not overstep their line even when we are talking about opening up.
The close follow up to Manazine saga is the rejection of a permit for three public talks titled "Lovers' Lecture Series" organised by The Fun Stage. Public Entertainment Licensing Unit (PELU), which is concerned with issuing licences for public forums, cited the reason of “contrary to the public interest" on 3 March 2004 which provoked PLU to issue another statement to condemn their actions.
Despite seemingly positive signs of the nation opening up and becoming more tolerant towards controversial issues, the message sent to Singaporeans through the various regulatory board’s actions is clear.
Even when the tides are changing in US; when gays are allowed to hold sensitive governmental positions; gay foreigners are welcomed to work in our shores; gay themed plays and movies are staged; we are basically “conservative” and regards gay issues as too sensitive for discussion.
On one level, the very act is a sign of the government unwillingness to give gay Singaporeans a voice.
On another level, it is not just about gay rights. It becomes a human rights and a civil society issue.
The government is not interested in building a participative civil society despite claims. They are not interested in feedback unless it propagates the national agenda. Their interest is in protecting the status quo and maintaining a seemingly liberal front for international media and outsiders.
The very act of “pressurizing” a magazine to conform to its standards or ban talks that are trying to discuss a serious topic is not just imposing censorship on the affected parties. It is a signal to future organisers to thread carefully when they decide to write or engage in controversial issues.
Such restrictions not only deprive of ordinary citizens a right to be exposed to an inflow of information; but also curtail activists; harms existing companies by forcing them to practice self-censorship.
One way in which groups like PLU can do is to network with other groups. It needs to work with other opposition political parties or NGOS such as human rights group, Think Centre or women’s advocacy group, AWARE, in recognizing that there are certain common grounds that can be explored.
Within these grounds, groups can organise activities that can help raise the profile of both their causes. A combined voice is stronger than a lone one.
Can we truly see the bigger picture?
Links
http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/article.php?articleid=16&viewarticle=1&searchtype=all
http://www.plu-singapore.com/
http://www.emanazine.com/press.htm
http://www.thefunstage.org/
Chasing The White Man Syndrome
The situation in Singapore is probably less evident than countries with a predominantly white population such as Australia or USA where gay asians face the situation commonly known as Sexual Racism.
In these countries, some gay asians report facing sexual discrimination by white men who tend to date within their own race. Asians, on the other hand, shun their own race and go for Caucasians. The result is a situation in which young gay asians go out with older western men, whom the white younger gay men has lost interest in.
In Singapore, some Men who have Sex with Men (MSM) are also only attracted to white guys. They are tagged as SPG; and the acronym stands for Sarong Party Gay (Gay in this case could refer to bisexuals as well); and is perceived by certain segments of the community as a negative lot.
It is easy to understand the mentality of looking down on SPG. In essence, if an asian man only chooses to have sex or dates only white guys, he is perceived as having internalized inverse racism. The inverse racism can be broadly determined as the result of one’s own rejection of finding sexual appeal within his or her race.
Many possible reasons could contribute to the attraction.
Associated sociological factors include the pervasive invasion of western culture – the superior white man myth (as compared to other races) constantly bombarded by a largely anglo - centric media in art, films, TV, mass media.
There are powerful sexual myths revolving around the average white men who is perceived as superior in terms of physical endowment, sexual ability, intellectual capability; all of which are of course: unfounded, biased, and false.
In Singapore, western men who arrived at our shores are often well-paid expatriates. Hence, being seen with one of them could mean an elevation of status within the gay community. Of course, the “status” accorded to them could be due to the fact that as a minority, they are “rarer” within a larger Asian gay community; and hence more “exotic”. We must not forget that our colonial hangover could contribute to the “white men is more dateable” situation.
Yet, the AM (Asian Men) – WM (Western Men) attraction is by no means an easy equation; and to fall into the trap of simplifying and creating stereotypes is to do injustice to the topic.
Psychological factors are possibly equally important. Some Asians who develop a certain liking for Caucasians could have done it for personal reasons such as bad experiences with other Asians; and heavily influenced or having a strong desire to know more about “western” culture. Once again, “western” culture is not homogenous and white men from different areas and countries are rarely similar. An american from Texas would stand out from a crowd of Aussie Sydneysiders.
Within the community, MSM often seek partners based on physical appearances or sexual practices. Users of chat rooms and online profiles seek distinctively sexual partners or dates according to subgroups drawn along bodily or behavioural attributes – S&M, chubs, muscles, feet, leather, e.t.c. just to name a few.
Different racial groups share broadly different facial profiles and body type; thereby the fascination of SPGs can be vaguely classed as a “fetish” as it can be an attraction based on physical characteristics. Certainly, an asian is unlikely to have blue or green eyes. The reverse is true for certain westerners who prefer asians because they believe that Asians tend to be smooth.
In Singapore, Asians who dates only Caucasians (because of a lesser number of Caucasians) are left with the choice of only going out with those who are older. There are also more older Caucasians because there are considerably less younger ones willing to work in Singapore, given we are still a very conservative nation and barriers are imposed along the way for them to enter. Nevertheless, a growing economy more welcoming of skilled or educated foreigners to replenish brain drain; and a seemingly opening society has encouraged younger gay Caucasians to come here.
As one of the more “materialistically” developed and English educated Asian country within the region, western men who likes Asians are likely to find someone here as they are able to communicate more effectively and sees the possibility of building a more “equal” relationship with an asian than in other or within their own countries.
Because Asians in Singapore are still relatively conservative and hold on to certain “Asian” values, they are seen as more “exotic” as compared to other Asians in their country who are seen as more “westernized”.
It is also commonly believed that older and ugly Caucasians moved to Singapore and Asia in particular to find sex and love because he is less attractive within his own country. By living in Singapore, where there is a considerable amount of “white chasers”, they are more likely to find an attractive, younger Asian guy who will adore and guard over him jealously.
The misconceived notion that the average gay asian is more submissive is another alluring pull for some aggressive Caucasian in forming relationships.
If you go online with a GWM profile in Singapore, the likelihood of you being hounded and forced to close multiple pop up windows speaks volume of the white man chase. Yet, after having talked to a few westerners, I suspect that it is not exactly a rosy picture for them either.
At the end of the day, some of the white chasers are only there to satisfy their bodily needs and after the illusory perfect white male – young, handsome and compatible; They are unwilling to settle for anything less.
I believe I have listed much commonly held beliefs with regards to the “white man chase”. It is not my intent to reinforce these myths. Some of them are stereotypical and possibly false; while others are based on observation. You might not agree with some of the views presented (so do I even at the point of writing them) but the purpose of this article, is to provoke a critical stream of thinking, demystify and question the white man chase syndrome.
Related Links:
http://sexualracismsux.com/
http://bathhouseblues.diary-x.com/
http://www.virtualcity.com/youthsuicide/racism-gay-lesbian/index.htm
http://www.gapsn.org/project2/discussion/nyblade.asp
http://www.gapsn.org/project2/discussion/changj.asp
Note: The writer believes that the “white man chase” syndrome cannot be easily and logically explained in a few words. Get in touch with him if you have “alternative” theories to offer.
Can Asian Western gay relationships work in Singapore?
Part II of Chasing the White Men Syndrome
Singapore has a larger Asian gay population than western men, resulting in a situation whereby the westerner is more likely to stray because of more “temptations”. This commonly held belief results in a stereotypical view of Asian Western relationship in which a controlling, easily jealous Asian boyfriend is coupled with an equally flirtatious and sexually libertine westerner.
On the other hand, the reverse could be true. The younger gay asian is likely to have sexual partners outside the relationship because of his youth (and hence ability to meet other guys); a desire to find other white men who is much more suitable for him in his opinion. Moreover, if his white boyfriend is likely to stray, why should he be the one to remain monogamous?
Seen in this perspective, AW relationships, like gay asian relationships, are characterized by doubts of monogamity.
Cultural factors and differences in upbringing have also been blamed for failing AW relationships. The westerner is perceived as being brought up in a less conservative environment with the likelihood of a more gay friendly environment. That however becomes the opposite if we are talking about a strict Catholic or Christian upbringing, which is likely to be more homophobic than the average asian family.
Westerners are seen to be brought up in more affectionate families and hence likely to be affectionate in later part of their lives. This could be reflected in their upfront attitude and open mannerisms. In treating their partners, they are likely to be more expressive and physical. The asian, on the other hand, who is more reserved, runs the risk of being accused of being non affectionate towards his other half.
To reduce to such simplistic generalizations in explaining incompatibility between an Asian an westerner is to miss the larger picture. In any relationships, even when cultural factors and upbringing are similar, people break-up or divorce. How else to account for the climbing straight divorce rates in our straight society which are mostly non cross racial?
In general, gay relationships are hard to sustain. Personal factors include an inability to cope with the partner’s infidelity, loss of sexual interest, to lack of communication.
Within a larger context, the lack of family support (in certain cases) and societal infrastructure has made it easier for people to leave and form new relationships. Without marriage counselors, established marriages and civil unions, relationships are formed and sustained based on mutual trust, love and acceptance of each other.
In AW relationship, family acceptance is another additional barrier. Not only has the gay man explain why he is gay; but why his other half is of another colour. It is like a double whammy to a conservative family forced to confront a gay son who brings home someone speaking a and unintelligible different language.
The AW relationship which is generally characterized by an older WM and a younger asian faces power tussle within the household. The WM is likely to have undergone more relationships, and experienced in twisting arms and getting his way around. With a higher income, his ability can make the other half to feeling like a “receiver” in kind. Yet, this is not a AW issue. Most relationships will face similar issues and it is up to the couple themselves to solve the problem.
However, there is one pertinent problem that is more unique for gay AW relationships. The status of the westerner in Singapore is often unstable. A foreigner has to leave the country within short notice if his service with the company is terminated. Even when he obtains a PR, it is subject to renewable after 5 years. The possibility of him being evicted from Singapore due to unemployment is an issue which could hamper the growth or cause the demise of a relationship.
At the same time, this speculation is a major disincentive in starting a relationship. There are ways to work around including getting the asian to move with the westerner back to his country or reside in a different country altogether. However, the average Singapore gay man is likely to hold on to his family and will be torn apart by the need to move.
At the end of the day, asian western relationships are like other gay or straight relationships. There is absolutely no reason why it cannot work, that is, if there is love and the parties are willing to try.
Related Links:
http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=876
http://www.gapsn.org/project2/interracial/kitchen1.asp
http://www.gapsn.org/project2/discussion/lews1.asp
