The Role of Gay Singaporeans in Families – A Response to PM Lee’s Message
PM Lee’s speech on strong family ties reiterates the importance of holding on to traditional values amidst a changing Singapore.
While I agree on the need for casting a wider social net in helping those who are economically deprived; the need to have stronger family bonds and couples giving birth to more children combating an ageing population, I wonder the relevance of the message to gay Singaporeans.
Lest critics complain that I am picking bones, national messages like these by our national leaders shun gays, and consider them invisible.
I am not saying that our PM has to dedicate his entire speech to gays (god forbid NO; else right wing fundamentalists scream, “hell hath no fury”) yet it will not be too far off to point out that there are gays in some families; and that they are equally important and part of the bond which we are trying to build and strengthen.
He pointed out in his speech that changing societal norms are shifting and hence, the need for stronger family bonds. In that respect, gays can contribute too.
While the government is unlikely to introduce gay unions or marriages, it may be timely to address the issue of the roles of gays in families.
By that, I meant encouraging remarks on why families should learn to embrace a gay brother, sister, son, daughter or relative; as well as partners of these gay members. After all, our ex PM, Mr Goh, mentioned the need for tolerance in the workplace in a previous TIME magazine interview. Hence, if our current PM, Mr Lee, is serious about making Singapore a more open nation, then asking families to accept gay members is a logical next step.
Contrary to misconceptions, gays are not a menace to traditional families. Gays may not bring home another person of the opposite sex for a reunion dinner, but they can certainly add another member to an extended family. Gays may not reproduce like “conventional” couples but they can adopt or undergo artificial reproduction process to boost reproduction in Singapore.
In short, having a gay member in the family is not the anti-thesis to building traditional families. It is a paradigm shift and challenge on what we believe they are, amidst changing societal norms.
----
Straits Times
Feb 8, 2005
Strong family ties matter, says PM Lee
AS FAMILIES get together this evening for the traditional Chinese New Year reunion dinner, Mr Lee Hsien Loong has underscored the importance that families continue to play in Singapore.
In his first Chinese New Year message as Prime Minister, he recognised that changing social norms and globalisation increased the pressure on the role families played - and gave the assurance the Government would be there to help.
But he said that the measures which the Government takes 'can only complement the family's traditional role, and not supplant it'.
'To be a resilient society, we need strong and close families. Ultimately, helping out relatives who are in need, and bringing up children into upright, productive adults, are acts motivated by kinship bonds and emotional ties.'
Families have always had a central role in Asian societies, he said.
When the tsunami disaster struck, for instance, survivors turned instinctively to their extended families for food, shelter and comfort.
Families also provide encouragement and support to couples to produce and bring up the next generation, passing on values and attitudes that stay with the young for life.
'However, our social norms are shifting,' he said, noting that new couples juggled their time between work, family and leisure.
'Globalisation is creating new opportunities and prosperity, but at the same time, it is generating new pressures on individuals and families. This is increasing the pressure on the traditional roles of the family,' he added.
Extended families have given way to nuclear families. So when someone falls ill or loses his job, he cannot always depend on the extended family to help him through.
Competing demands also meant that couples delayed marriage, settled for fewer children, or had none at all.
'In these changing circumstances, the Government is strengthening social safety nets to help families protect the vulnerable, and encouraging couples to have more children to live balanced, fulfilling lives,' he said.
It was a reiteration of a pledge made in Parliament last month that the Government would offer lifelines of aid for the old, poor and jobless.
This included the revamping of the medical insurance plan MediShield, and building up Medifund, which pays medical bills of the poor, from $1 billion to $2 billion.
ComCare, a $500 million endowment fund that will be built up to $1 billion, supports programmes that help families get back on their feet.
Government policies also aim to make Singapore 'a great place for families,' said Mr Lee, a father of four. Procreation policies introduced last year are showing some encouraging signs. He said: 'It is too early to assess results, but I have met many couples carrying young babies, who tell me happily that they are collecting the Baby Bonus.
'And hospitals have reported that this year there are more pregnancy consultations, and many applications to use Medisave for antenatal packages.'
Mr Lee said Chinese New Year is a good time 'to remind ourselves that the traditional role of the family remains relevant in our modern society'.
The Year of the Monkey which ends today was a good year for Singapore with strong growth, lower unemployment and returning confidence and optimism. 'As families gather for reunion dinners, as young people visit their elders to pay respects, and as we welcome the Year of the Rooster amidst firecrackers and lion dances, let us keep these traditions alive and look forward to a good year ahead,' he said.
'I wish all Singaporeans a prosperous Chinese New Year.'
